Monday, December 05, 2011

Ten Ways to Know When to Change Your Airplane Seat

You've just reached cruising altitude, and the passenger in the seat next to you turns to you and says something. What lines should tip you off that your seatmate is a mindless zombie with whom rational discussion is pointless? Here are a few that tell you to move to a different seat immediately, but feel free to nominate your own.

1. "Classical philosophers for several millennia have pointed out that that existence of nature itself presupposes Someone who is uncaused existence. The evidence for an Uncaused Cause is massive-- you can fill a library with the arguments in its favor."

2. "Universals are immaterial-- truth, beauty, goodness, love".

3. "The abortion industry is big business."

4. "Frauds like climate scientists can't operate under cover anymore."

5. "[Jesus' birth] is the most beautiful and astonishing story ever told, even more beautiful and astonishing because it is true."

6. "We all worship something... Atheists no less than Christians."

7. "The Screwtape Letters is a literary masterpiece"

8. "After 200 years of Malthusian pseudoscience, when are overpopulation morons going to admit they're wrong?"

9. "contraceptive culture is promiscuous and inculcates a disrespect for the sanctity of life"

10. "There's been no warming in a decade, and they lied about it."

And extra points if you can figure out who said all ten of the things above.


John Farrell said...

Your favorite American Spectator contributing editor? :)

(You forgot one: "Survival of the fittest is a tautology!")

Jack Scanlan said...

Good ol' Egnor. *sigh*

Bayesian Bouffant, FCD said...

And extra points if you can figure out who said all ten of the things above.

The passenger in the seat next to you during your most recent flight?

Anebo said...


KeithB said...

Not from your unfavorite seatmate but:

"Have you heard about Scientology?"

"I just discovered some fascinating things about integer sequences!" 8^)

"Have you ever tried Amway/Quinstar products?"

Takis Konstantopoulos said...

"I see you're doing lots of strange scribblings. Is it math you're doing? I've always been bad in math. My favorite subject was psychology. But I have a cousin who teaches math in high school."

Zakk said...

Holy crap, there was a person who said it all? rofl

Curt Cameron said...

I'm going to guess it was Glenn Beck. My familiarity with him is just from reading about things he's said, and seeing Jon Stewart's impression of him, but this list seems to fit.

The whole truth said...

Michael Egnor?

Jeffrey Shallit said...

Yes - it's the master of egnorance himself, Michael Egnor.